As my sister Dylann and I were talking the other night until around 1:30, we were overwhelmed with truth. I don't mean religious-fanatic/forms-but-denying-the-power/doctrinal/mere-words-truth. I mean reality.

            We used to see things in one light, but now we see it in a different light. Before I go on, I want to say that judging others and exalting ourselves is not Christlike. No wonder people get more into the world and are confused about who God is.

            I think some people may say that they agree with this, but their hearts and lives show that they don't really. They may kind of understand, but not deeply:

            Don't judge a book by its cover, or by its surface.
            It may have a hard cover, but it's just a cover.

            I was thinking this morning, that we need to look not at the profession or outside appearance, but on the character, and the heart... We also need to read the introduction, and understand the background, and the setting.

            People are people, not gods.

            Dylann and I realized for the first time the other night that people can be Luciferian in principle, and "Christian" in name. They are sincere. But they talk about God so much and about themselves and what they want and what they should have, so much, at the same time. Thus, "God" = Self.
Do we know HOW MUCH THIS CONFUSES PEOPLE?

            We've been realizing the last several days that some people who are judged as hard are really honest at heart. They just don't want to be hypocrites. So they don't even pretend to be Christians. They just hold it inside.

CONTRAST:
"What think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work today in my vineyard. He answered and said, I will not: but afterward repented, and went.

And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, Sir: and went not.

Whether of them twain did the will of his father?"

            There are some people who are like Solomon. They have potential. And while people around them condemn them for being worldly, they are seekers, inside.

            "I sought in mine heart to give myself unto wine, yet acquainting mine heart with wisdom; and to lay hold on folly, till I might see what was that good for the sons of men, which they should do under the heaven all the days of their life." Eccles. 2:3.

            "It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. He sitteth alone and keepeth silence, because he hath borne it upon him.
            He putteth his mouth in the dust; if so be there may be hope. He giveth his cheek to him that smiteth him: he is filled full with reproach." Lamentations 3:27-30.

            They are learning. They are soft inside, but they have a hard cover. They appear rough, but on the inside, on the soul, they are smitten, attacked; they are cut, they are breaking inside, they are confused, they aren't sure what they believe, they don't know they're doormats, and they want some control which it is their *right to have. Plus, they just want to be accepted.

            And then they find a false sense of control, like rebellion, worldliness, being cool, immodest clothes which represent nakedness which represents shame; a tough, strong, "I'm in control" demeanor, a shell, etc.

            Also, they may put on a clown cover and joke around a lot, but inside they are serious, and they're seeking what is truly important. God is with them, more than they know, I believe.

            "For the LORD will not cast off for ever:
But though He cause grief, yet will He have compassion according to the multitude of His mercies.
For He doth not afflict willingly[from His heart; margin] nor grieve the children of men.
To crush under His feet all the prisoners of the earth,
To turn aside the *right of a man before the face of the most High,
To subvert a man in his cause,
the Lord approveth not."

Do We CARE?...And Do We Want to Go Home?

           I suggest you at least read the parts in orange if you don't read this whole article.

            Ecclesiastes 4:5 says, "The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh." Do we eat our own flesh? Maybe not; quite likely we don't actually. That is wrong, to eat one's own flesh. It is a form of destruction, degradation, demoralization; debasing it is. And yet there are many other things that fall into this category, such as(bear with me; some of these things are outright things some people wouldn't do, but there are also some more subtle things): Witchcraft, entertainment, t.v., movies, romance novels, video games, rap music, heavy metal, self abuse, cutting one's self, staying up too late on a regular basis(without having a purpose of getting enough rest and becoming a better, fit person, for the Lord and His service), getting too much stimulation(even if it's in the name of "Christian"), being too fast-paced and going along with the "Christian" flow without exercising the mind to think about what one's purpose is and focus on it, etc.

            Lord, I see that all these things are working together in the diabolical plan to destroy Your image in mankind. There's a reason why we keep getting worse; because it's a plan of the Illuminati which is steadily being fulfilled more and more every day. You've given us freewill, and because we've exercised it the way we have, this world is a terrible place. Some would argue that it's always been this way. There have always been wars, famines, natural disasters, etc. But look at the planning of the New World Order; look at "Hunger Games" and the fact that human beings are entertained by watching children act out killing each other in an arena; look at the morals going down and the crime rate going up; look at the parents spending less quality/quantity time with their children more and more over the decades, and at how they don't teach them with important, loving, consistent, firm, truth-filled character-building words, but rather send them off to school or day-care for half the day and then stay really busy afterwards with eating, homework, t.v., maybe a little family time, going places, and watching or participating in sports, activities, clubs, etc.

            (They{the Illuminati} want it that way; just keep them busy, distracted, addicted, and then create problems and give them your solution{example: September 11th, 2001; create a terrorist attack, and then make airports safer, along with a whole bunch of other  problems and freedom-stripping solutions. It's so obvious! How could it be a coincidence that it's all wrapping up for them like this? It's an evil, diabolical plan, to say the least!})

            ...Lord, I don't want people dumbed down and suffering from excito-toxins which evil people deliberately put in the food(almost all the food, even "health" food, like soymilk, fake meats, breads, etc.). I REALLY want people to find You, and hope for healing and happiness. But around me I find happiness meaning cigarette breaks, marijuana, ecstasy, violent movies, money, funny YouTube videos, comfort food, infatuation(even in Christian homes!), false realities, t.v., finding "yourself,"etc. I find happiness, in that sense, to be dependant on circumstances; therefore out of the individual's control. Therefore that person, whether a Christian, Atheist, Agnostic, Buddhist, or Hindu, etc., is not free, but is rather a slave to circumstance. Actually anyone who is going along with the Illuminati's propaganda, entertainment, diet, philosophies, etc. is not free. They are slaves at the bottom of the Luciferian(Satanic) pyramid, with the all-seeing eye of Lucifer at the top(master, controller, deceiver, dictator, leader, planner, etc.), which we can see on the one-dollar bill.
            Another important thing to note is that Satan doesn't necessarily want everyone to be full-blown Satanists. In fact, the New World Order(and one world government) involves one-world religion. That's already being helped along by the ecumenical movement, partly. They're using the Protestant, incorporated state churches(Baptist, Methodist, Seventh-day Adventist, etc; they don't want to miss any of the state churches{An ex-Jesuit priest, Alberto Rivera, said that about the infiltration, and much more of course}and pretty much every area of our daily lives). And they've already been talking about a Sunday Law, but the angels are holding back the winds of strife, that we may wake up and stand under the banner of Prince Emmanuel(meaning, God with us).
            The Pope is pushing for a Sunday Law, New World Order, uniting Europe, etc. It's time to study to shew ourselves approved, whether we be in the faith or not. This is precious, probationary time! We don't want to be doing our regular, comfort zone daily activities, but rather doing more than what's good enough to get by. This world is enevitably coming to a crisis; what are we doing to prepare ourselves and truly help others? Are we ignoring the work that lies nearest, passing by our homes and family(even pets), for infatuation, future possibilities that may not happen, often seeking social enjoyment(superficial, foolish, confusing, unnatural, based-on-who-happens-to-comment-on-what-post, or otherwise?) as a priority above things that truly matter most in day-to-day life? It's something to ponder and pray about as we are needing to prepare for the final events of this planet.
            We are in the last days, and we need to act like it. People are suffering, and are we passing by them for the fun stuff and "mission work" we want to do? Jesus helped all, and I sincerely believe we need to follow His example of not being bored, tapping His foot, just waiting for the exciting future to happen to Him, as if the world revolved around Him. If everything didn't revolve around Him, in a selfish way on His part, then why should we expect it to revolve around us, giving us what we want when we want it? Is God Santa Clause?
            Verse 1: "So I returned, and considered all the oppressions that are done under the sun: and behold the tears of such as were oppressed, and they had no comforter; and on the side of their oppressors there was power; but they had no comforter." (Jesus is our Comforter; will we let Him transform our lives and shine through us to comfort and uplift others out of the destructive, degrading things of the flesh and of the world, to the dignity of man made in the image of God?) There are only two powers. And if we are not fully on one's side, we are working for the other. Now, today is the time to SERIOUSLY and in a WILLING-to-change spirit ponder and consider how our daily habits effect us and others; and are we seeking to bless our families and people of all ages more and more? Are we trying to escape, and infatuatingly dreaming of the future that may never happen, as GOD has the best plans? Are we putting the wrong things first? Who are we helping, and WHY?
            "Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse." Let us turn our hearts to our Father in heaven as we carefully consider the purpose He has for us, which is not to talk about it with a bunch of people our age necessarily(that's not our purpose in God). What about the people in darkness? We should study how to help them and pray for the latter rain to now fall on us.
            The destructive, degrading things mentioned earlier that are currently abounding and increasing in this world it is our job as Christians to fight against and free people from in Christ. And we can't just be comfortable, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, seeking social pleasure, collecting new people and putting old ones on the shelf as we wish, seeking attention and not giving it to those who NEED it!!! Why would anyone want this world to last another decade so that we can live our dreams when Jesus has a reality and perfect plan for every individual who will accept it? Don't we want to go home?! Jesus has a plan; let's follow it. "And I looked, and lo, a Lamb stood on the mount Sion, and with Him an hundred and forty and four thousand, having His Father's name written in their foreheads...And they sung as it were a now song before the throne, and before the four beasts, and the elders: and no man could learn that song but the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth. These are they which were not defiled with women, for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever He goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb. And in their mouth was no guile: for they are without fault before the throne of God." Revelation 14:1,3-5.

Lessons From the Mount of Transfiguration

            The mount of transfiguration -- such an intriguing...well, ...subject, event, truth, what? Well, I was thinking and studying it a little bit yesterday at home, and I'll share what I got out of it yesterday afternoon. There's a lot that one can learn from it and knowledge is broad on the subject, but here's what the Lord put on my heart yesterday:

            I'm reminded of how You, Lord Jesus, are our perfect example, and how that applies to the mount of transfiguration...I should turn to read about it in Matthew 17:1-3, "And after six days Jesus taketh Peter, James, and John his brother, and bringeth them up into a high mountain apart[much knowledge and many lessons there], and was transfigured before them[more lessons there as well]: and His face did shine as the sun[MORE lessons, and bright truth], and His raiment was white as the light[that really means a lot, doesn't it?]. And behold, there appeared unto them Moses and Elias, talking with Him."
            If it weren't for Moses' writings, we wouldn't know about the tabernacle, sanctuary, holy place, most holy place, burnt offerings, the sanctuary message, the Ten Commandments, anything from the book of Job, etc. What can you think of?...There's so much more.
            And one thing about Elijah: (Oh wait, this text even mentions Moses and such things that are in the old testament and the law; okay, let's go...) Malachi 4:4-6 says, "Remember ye the law of Moses My servant, which I commanded him in Horeb for all Israel, with the statutes and judgments. [And then:] Behold, I will send you *Elijah the prophet before *the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD[a day of judgment, a dreadful day, an event which the whole world will see, stretching from one end of the earth to another]: And he [God's *last-day people, that means US, that is, if we are God's people] shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse." (Those are the last words of the book!...) Amen. Come soon, Lord, and prepare us!...
            Also, Elijah was one man, and he felt alone in the work of the Lord God(very much like these last days). The Lord told him that He still had 7000 in Israel who had not bowed the knee to Baal, after Elijah had said, "I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: because the children of Israel have forsaken Thy covenant, thrown down Thine altars, and slain Thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away." 1 Kings 19:14.
            I am reminded also that wide is the path that leads to destruction, and narrow is the way that leads to eternal life. It's not narrow as in millions and millions of professed children of Israel as opposed to the billions that live on this planet. It means what it says; NARROW. "Not every one that saith unto Me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of My Father which is in heaven[God's will, not necessarily a church leader's will, or our own blind will that cannot see because of the neglect and lack of being still before God enough, or a religious youth group leader's will, etc; we need ourselves as individuals to study to show ourselves approved, whether we be in the faith!]. Many will say to Me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Thy name? and in Thy name have cast out devils? and in Thy name done many wonderful works?
            "And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from Me, ye that work iniquity." Matthew 7:21-23.
            As in Elijah's day, only a remnant shall choose the truth and be saved. We are to bear the Elijah message, and the three angels' messages, which includes, "Fear God[NOT Baal], and give glory to Him, for the hour of His judgment is come," bear it to the world, and in our own minds. Even so, Lord Jesus. Amen.

            So let's follow the admonition given to us from the Lord in Amos 5:14, 15 and Isaiah 55:6-8, "Seek good, and not evil, that ye may live: and so the LORD, the God of hosts, shall be with you, as ye have spoken. Hate the evil, and love the good, and establish judgment in the gate: it may be that the LORD of hosts will be gracious unto the remnant of Joseph." Have we spoken that the Lord is or shall be with us? Have we said that we are God's people? Then we must follow the conditions if we are going to receive the blessing. What would be the point of the saints of old running the race with their whole being, so earnestly, if WE last-day people don't need to do so? Obviously we DO. :) "Seek ye the LORD while He may be found, call ye upon Him while He is near: Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and He will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon. For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, saith the LORD."So let's seek good, according to not so much what people say, but according to God Himself and His word. We should be willing to let goods and kindred go, and forsake popularity, men's praise, and comfort zone, all for the Lord, our Savior. ANYTHING and EVERYTHING He commands us to do and desires for our best interests. God's richest blessings!
          

My Heart is on a Journey

Beginning: My heart is on a journey.
I’ve been to many places, yet still there’s more to see.

Verse 1:
I started my journey walking alone, not having a purpose or knowing where I’d go.
I wasn’t doing too well, was on my way to hell.
The sins that I wanted, a voice told me to sell.
And as I really listened to this voice more and more,
By faith I could see Him, ‘twas Jesus Christ the Lord.
He gave me a purpose, a map and a sword.

Verse 2:
He had me climb to a mountain peak, and that’s where I saw how the world is so empty.
It’s full of pleasure, but also many nets, And offers no true peace, or lasting happiness.
Ever since I climbed that mountainous way,
I’ve loved them with deep love and I earnestly pray
For them to know the Savior, and grow in grace.

Verse 3:
I’ve seen the ruins of Vaunting Pride in a land where many have died.
I used to like it there, and tarried for a time, But Jesus had me die, that I might have life.
The One who leads me is humble and meek,
And that’s what He’ll make me as His face I seek.
He’s the Source of strength for the heart’s journey.

Verse 4:
Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain. Feelings and emotions are nothing like faith.
Feelings come and go with the winds that blow,
And they lead the mind away from reality and faith.
I see how it is, and I’m so glad to know, And God will show me more as I onward go.
The right paths are His, so I will follow.

Verse 5:
I thought I’d seen love, but I didn’t stop long enough. Then God showed me I needed to soften up. Jesus bought each soul with His precious blood,
And as I’ve done to them, I’ve done it unto Him.
I’ve gone that much farther, and He is still leading.
The more I see of Him, the more it changes me.
The more Jesus leads, the better all will be.

Verse 6:
Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroyeth much good:
I fought against conscience, thinking I could win,
But I thought on my ways, and saw it was sin.
So now instead of fighting against my Lord,
I fight against self with His Spirit’s sword
Until I am with Him forevermore.

ENDING: Your heart is on a journey, so watch where you’re going and let Jesus lead.

December 31rst, Saturday Night

To forget yourself and get lost in a maze of helping and giving to others, is really a saved condition. Making a habit of blessing other people and looking out for their good instead of your own will starve out the selfishness that lies in our various areas of life.

Of course though, we need to be right with God ourselves, and He'll take care of guiding us in our relations to others. He wants us to make things right with Him AND with OTHER souls He is seeking to give a new life to. And Jesus said, "As ye have done it unto the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto Me."

From a song called, "Lord, How Long?" :
"Lord, how long can this go on, family life as it is?
Our love is waxing so cold. So much is going wrong.
          We reach out our hands outside our homes,
          Because we think our family's to blame.
          And we forget our own faults, or just don't see them,
         And then we wonder why we're still ashamed.
Lord, we need a change.
Help us come to right relation, make the wrong things right.
May we have a strong connection, turn our darkness into light...
          If we're going to help the world, then it's YOU they must see.
          We must live by Your example with our own family..."

These are some amazing things God has been showing me lately. And He's been showing me deep things ABOUT these things, which I see are very important for spiritual growth and improvement of life. I feel older after a few months of this amazing experience from God than I would if I were making $12 an hour and had my own house and new car and bills and all that stuff. :) God wants to show us how to prioritize, and to remember the important things. If we feel dis-satisfied about living where we are with those we're living with, etc., maybe God is trying to teach us things that are more eternal and best in the long run for us and for others(do we care? Only God can make us care.) And maybe that we ought to seek these things and be strong through the struggles and the deep heart-searching and painful "heart surgery", rather than by-passing our issues and blaming others as we mess up and run away from our troubles. (We would just find other troubles anyway. We really need to get to the ROOT of the problem.)

The struggles, heart-searching, surgery and ALL are more than worth it! The results are better than what our own mistakes, pride, and unwillingness to change, could bring us. ;)
"Lord, how long can I refuse to let go of the things that by Your grace I know
Are not the things that will be best down the road?
Lord, take it all, and no matter what others do, I still have light to live up to.
I can't cast on them all the blame, and just wait for them to change.
Lord, I must do my part for You.
It's Your will I must do. Lord, I trust You will lead me through."

He will, friend, He will. Whatever your personal issues are, if you listen to Him, trust and obey, He will show you answers. You can expect it to involve leaving your comfort zone. But sometimes, it's just a matter of letting go and being still, so that as your voice and crazy/confused/spinning-out-of-control mind were hushed -- stopped -- Jesus could tell you the truth of the matter.

Whatever the case is -- He really, sincerely, wants to help you.
"Help us put first things first, and to look in the mirror.
And instead of blaming others, the golden rule adhere."
Jesus said, "Do unto others even as you would that they should do unto you."
"The wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness..." James 2:20,21. Can we admit it? Acknowledging our sin...it's like going through a dark tunnel for a minute, and then coming out to the other side, which in this case is a much better place to be than the side we came from. It brings us to this: We are in favor with God, simply because we chose Him, not our self, which makes us happy and at peace. Can we admit our true condition? Jeremiah 3:13,14: "Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the LORD thy God, and hast scattered thy ways to the strangers under every green tree, and ye have not obeyed My voice, saith the LORD. Turn, O backsliding children..."
Back to James: "Wherefore lay apart all superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness [Let's sell our pride and exchange it for meekness, a treasure in that field.] the engrafted word, WHICH is able to save your souls. But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving you own selves."

Some Long Thought-of Thoughts from Yesterday

...I could go after one thing, then another. "This is fun, but I still got this issue." Then I could find something or someone else. "Yeah, this is cool, but I still have some pain from the past." Then I could keep going and find lots of things I think I want, and people who actually 'understand', and music, entertainment, etc that goes along with the stuff I'm thinking and feeling.

         Actually, that was me. And somehow I got out of those things. How? Hmmm, I must have felt convicted to stop feeling worldly and bitter and stuff, and the process began. Why am I telling you this? I don't know...But I felt kind of guilty for a while about pushing it away. I feel fine now though. :) Making things right always makes things better. I have been dealing lately with exploding and thinking, "Why am I doing this?!" I've gotten so confused and angry that I've cursed in my head and said words that I stopped saying. I think this was necessary to go through.

        If you have been relying on self, I know life isn't what it could be for you, for your happiness and for others'. If you have been relying on God, you of course would have different results. If you choose to go to God about the things that pain you(instead of causing yourself more pain and buiding the wall higher) He will take the bad out of all the wounds of your life that you have stuck inside you. And He will(like NOBODY or NOTHING can, because NOTHING can) heal you. The pain is gone, replaced with good, by overcoming it with good.

        When you have problems and pain, it effects others(just like others' such things effect you), and then what they do can add MORE problems and pain. You start bottling stuff up inside, and exploding out to people once in a while(about OTHER things sometimes), NOT getting to the root of the problem. Then we complain about them, STILL not resolving things, but hey, at least we get to talk to so-and-so, who really actually understands. Then we can have a life of going back and forth between strife, problems, etc, and pleasure, friends, etc.

        I'm learning a different way though. :) I thought I was going against God when I said, "I just want so-and-so to KNOW about this, how I really feel about it.[things I was bitter about] I just want to let it all out..." But I guess I was in such a rut and so troubled, that I wasn't realizing that it WAS from God. I'm having to tell a certain person what the exact things are that bothered/bother me, and exactly what I'm forgiving them for. If I don't tell them what the issues are, then they don't see me breaking down the walls and letting God change my heart and mindset, and then it's like I'm letting the things stay wrong between us, instead of making them right.
       Things need to be made right with God, our family, and our fellow men.

From Darkness to Light

　
"...God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth us from all sin." 1 John 1:5-7.
I know that when one is in darkness, one is separated from the "Father of lights", the One in whom is no darkness at all. And, when one is separated from the God of love, and is miserable, self-deceived, discouraged, convicted of sin, then there is only one Source of light that can deliver one from all the dark things in one’s life, and give one a new life, a life of faith and freedom, walking in the light.
As I look back at my past experience and compare it with where I am now, I see that I was led "out of darkness into His marvelous light." 1 Peter 2:9.
"The way of the wicked is as darkness: they know not at what they stumble." Proverbs 4:19. Before I really knew God, and I walked in darkness, I couldn’t see what I stumbled at. So I couldn’t see the solutions to my problems either, when I chose the darkness rather than the light, that is. Thankfully, God had something better planned.
For some time in my life, I knew some things about God, Jesus and the Bible, but I was still in the dark. I hadn’t yet come to the love of the truth, because I was so comfortable in sin. Yes, I was comfortable, but not happy. I knew I was deep in sin and selfishness, plus I was worldly, and much of the time I thought spiritual things were boring. Deep down though, sometimes I understood that they were true. But, I pushed away those convictions as I hardened my heart, seeking my own selfish pleasure.
Spiritual things are spiritually discerned, so as I look back, I see that when I refused to do what I was convicted of, I was rejecting the light that the Holy Spirit was trying to lead me into("he that followeth after righteousness and mercy findeth life," the more abundant life. And "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace," all things I really wanted, but for a while I *{compare with James 4:8 on the next page} wavered between choosing them and the things I wanted selfishly that were not good.). Also, as I rejected the Holy Spirit, I couldn’t even discern spiritual things, so I attempted to hide from the light, because I loved darkness. When the light cut through the darkness, I ran away from it, but it persistently chased me. Then it was as if I cried, "Help!" But wait, just who was I crying out to? Certainly not myself or Satan...was it...God, the One that was disturbing my ‘peace’ and harassing me, not letting go of my heart till I was willing to listen to Him?
More and more I saw God’s mercy and care and love for me. He wasn’t asking me to just give up the bad things that I liked. He was asking me to leave the darkness, and walk in the light that He graciously gave me, and the light would overpower the loved-yet-miserable darkness. "But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord." 2 Corinthians 3:18. The more I beheld God’s true goodness and love, and the more I saw of His ways, and the more peace that came when walking with Him, the less attractive – the more wrong and debased – my sinful, worldly, and selfish ways were to me. As He lovingly convicted me of some things, I lovingly(with the love and desire that HE provided along with the enmity for sin), willingly did as He said, with great satisfaction and peace.
So my heart went from being hard as stone to being soft, willing, and subdued ("according to the working whereby He is able even to subdue ALL things unto Himself"! Philippians 3:21). In my life, more and more, step by step, God applied to me the truth and power of Ezekiel 36:25-28: "Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness and from all your idols, will I cleanse you. A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. And I will put My Spirit within you ["Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty." 2 Corinthians 3:17.], and cause you to walk in My statutes, and ye shall keep My judgments, and do them...and I will be your God."
If anything is separating your soul from God, then it is darkness. And, the only thing that can dispel the darkness is light. "Therefore I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me. Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a light unto me. I will bear the indignation of the LORD, because I have sinned against Him, until He plead my cause, and execute judgment for me: He will bring me to the light, and I shall behold His righteousness." Micah 7:7-9.
Again(this seems to come out in almost every chapter I write), God speaks to us through our consciences, giving us rays of light to penetrate through the darkness, and He does this out of love for us. He’s not trying to make us miserable, but I know, at least from my experience, coming to the light can be painful and it exposes sin and selfishness. On the other hand, if we shrink from the light, sin and selfishness gets worse, but when we come to the light, there is a big struggle. What is better? To escape for a while from the light that exposes sin, and be proud, or, to be humble, and acknowledge our sins and faults before Him, that we may have forgiveness, and power to have victory in overcoming sin and self, bringing glory and honor to God and our Savior? Yes, it is a struggle, "but He giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye *double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up." James 4:6-10. Do you want laughter now, and sorrow and regret later? Or do you want to draw nigh to God NOW, humbling yourself, giving Him your mind, heart, and life, so then you wouldn’t have this up-and-down, false joy, but instead, peace and true happiness in God?
We need to be willing to acknowledge our true condition before God. He already knows it, so what better thing to do with it than to give it to Him, confessing our sin and claiming victory and a new life in Him? And, I know that when you ask God for hope and faith, He gives them to you, and day by day(no matter what happens today or whenever) you learn more through the huge struggle, and yhou keep going through faith in Jesus Christ. I know you just need to start following Him if you haven’t already, and if you have already, I know you just need to keep going, listening, trusting, and obeying. Do by His grace and power with a willing heart whatever He says, walking not by sight, but by faith! Jesus Himself, right here, right now, wants this for you! He can help you and lead you today, tomorrow, and everyday, as you draw nigh to Him, and He will draw nigh to you. That is true all the time. Would we dare say that our Almighty, loving God and Savior is limited to certain circumstances, and that during the hardest times He is powerless? If we wouldn’t say these words, then we should not think them or have them in our attitudes or show in our lives and choices. We must choose to NOT think that way anymore! I used to, but God is Almighty, and now I know it! In fact, I’m remembering right now that when I was really struggling, I kind of thought that God couldn’t help me. But, when I thought those thoughts or had that attitude and outlook in struggles, Jesus would say to me, not in these exact words, but basically this:
"You know deep down that I am not powerless. You just don’t want to face this, because it would be acknowledging you have a need, and it would be humiliating. But this is not gray; it’s black and white. If you choose to do the wrong thing and harden your heart, oh, my child, that would sadden me, and draw you away from Me. But, if you choose to do the right thing, humbling yourself, separating from sin rather than from Me, taking the cross of self denial, My peace and happiness and love will flow into your heart, mind, and life. You will be rejoiced about by the angels of heaven, including the ones who I send in your behalf, in behalf of sinful man, that they may be led out of darkness into My marvelous light! And you may not know the immediate results of your choice to do right – but Ryann, that’s all part of walking "by faith, not by sight" [He’d be smiling at that point, with love, power, encouragement, and the assurance that the outcome of my right choice would be very good and bring happiness and peace to me, and glory and honor to Him] ; now you really, practically understand that verse in My word! It is real, as I am real to you, and I will really empower you – plus, making the right decision will just add to the good of your eternal interests, and to the good records pf heaven. In the end, not what happens to you now as a result of your good choice, is what matters. I promise to give you peace, draw you closer to Myself, give you victory, and make you happy, and more...Just trust in Me. You don’t have to do everything; in fact, you can’t, but just be willing, abide in My words, follow My example and My lead, and know that ‘faithful’ am I that call ‘you, who also will do it.’" 1 Thessalonians 5:24.
Brother, sister, Jesus speaks to you often. What does He say to you? Listen, trust, and obey. Remember these three principles, live them, and just see what happens. Here are some promises that when you ask for, God will give to you, as He is infinitely more desirous to give than you are to receive (Also, Jesus said, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35.) : "The way of life is above to the wise, that he may depart from hell beneath." "Plead my cause, O LORD, with them that strive with me: fight against them that fight against me. Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for mine help. Draw out also the spear, and stop the way against them that persecute me: say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. Let them be confounded and put to shame that seek after my soul: let them be turned back and brought to confusion that devise my hurt. Let them be as chaff before the wind: and let the angel of the LORD chase them. Let their way be dark and slippery: and let the angel of the LORD persecute them. For without cause have they hid their net for me in a pit, which without cause they have digged for my soul. Let destruction come upon them unawares; and let his net that he hath hid catch himself: into that very destruction let him fall. And my soul shall be joyful in the LORD: it shall rejoice in His salvation." "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you...Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up." "Save Thy people, and bless Thine inheritance: feed them also, and lift them up forever." "The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The LORD is nigh unto them who are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Many [Jesus knows how many] are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all."
"He discovereth deep things out of darkness, and bringeth out to light the shadow of death." "And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God." "Jesus said unto those Jews which believed on Him, If ye continue in My word, then are ye My disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." "Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God on the children of disobedience. Be ye not therefore partakers with them. For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them...he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light." "For Thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness." "For He satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness. Such as sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, being bound in affliction and iron; Because they rebelled against the words of God, and contemned the counsel of the most High: Therefore He brought down their heart with labour; they fell down, and there was none to help. Then they cried unto the LORD in their trouble, and He saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and brake their bands in sunder...He hath broken the gates of brass[what are the gates of brass in your life?], and cut the bars of iron in sunder. Fools because of their transgression, and because of their iniquities, are afflicted. Their soul abhorreth all manner of meat; and they draw near unto the gates of death. Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and He saveth them out of their distresses. He sent His word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions. Oh that men would praise the LORD for His goodness, and for His wonderful work to the children of men!" Proverbs 15:24; Psalms 35:1-9; James 4:8,10; Psalms 34:17-19; Job 12:22; John 8:31-32; Ephesians 5:6-11,14; Psalms 18:28; Psalms 107:9-21.
When we see the darkness of our ways, as when I saw the folly of my selfishness, worldliness, rebellion, foolishness, etc., our enemy Satan seeks to discourage us. He may say, "Look how bad you are. God frowns upon you, and there’s nothing you can do about it..." As I believed those lies, I felt like I had committed the unpardonable sin, and that it was too late to become a Christian. I felt like I might as well have all the fun and pleasure and all I could get. I still somewhat enjoyed my worldly music, t.v., and trying to be cool like the world and such, and I walked in the dark with a character not very refined at all, yet God drew me. And, as I drew closer to Him, and I became more and more convicted to make some changes, I was finally willing to accept the light as from God Himself. I actually stopped listening to my debasing CD’s. I must say though, I’m only using the bad music and such as one example of how God has worked on me. I needed and need His grace in every area of my life, and He has changed me in so many ways, refining my character, giving me power to live up to the light that I know, and then the light increases along with my faith.
No matter how much Satan lied to me, deep down I still knew that what God said was true. When Satan tried to make me think I couldn’t be saved, God shone His light into that very darkness. It was like He was speaking through my conscience the truth of this verse: "God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved." John 3:17.
And now I must mention this, because I know at least from my experience, that we not everything changes at once: it is an ongoing process that God takes us through very patiently, and with power. Even after I chose to tell God, "Yes, I choose not to listen to these CD’s anymore, ever again," I still listened to the radio sometimes. I still struggled a lot really, but you know, you have to start somewhere. I had finally come to where I longed to be, to the dawn of a brighter day. Jesus said, "Yet a little while is the light with you. Walk ye while ye have the light, lest darkness come upon you: for he that walketh in darkness knoweth not whither he goeth." John 12:35. I remember I didn’t know where I was going, but I didn’t have a purpose and I wasn’t headed for heaven. And really, at first part of my motivation for changing was fear of not going to heaven, but one amazing thing is that God can change our motives. So, when He puts the desire for Him in our hearts(and for His will, not ours, which is brought out in the chapter, "A New Heart and a Surrendered Will"), and we grasp it by grace through faith, we have the true power to take hold of eternal life, along with the life that the Lord wants to live now, today, and the rest of our lives. He is now desiring our companionship more than we desire His. So, no matter where we are in life, we can be assured that He will lead us out of darkness into His marvelous light.
"And you hath He quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins: wherein in times past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now works in the children of disobedience[Remember, listen, trust, and obey] :among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others. But God, who is rich in mercy, for His great love wherewith He loved us, even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ,(by grace are ye saved;) And hath raised us up together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:1-10. "Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6,7.
God will be giving us forgiveness, comfort, peace, power, grace, wisdom, goodness, and whatever else He sees we need. So wherever we are right now, let’s choose to walk by faith in Christ on the "path of the just" which "is as the shining light that shineth more and more unto the perfect day." *
*Proverbs 4:18.
You may also want to read the following for more knowledge of God and His ways as found in His word, and when you pray for enlightenment with an open heart and mind, God will give you light and answer graciously: John 3:30; John 8:12; Mark 10:28-30; Matthew 13:3-23; and more, write more references here: